May 5th, 2013 - Thai Massages at Panwa Beach

I am a delicate flower. I know this now. Many a person has said it before due to my slight frame and quiet disposition and I scoffed and waved my hand dismissively at them, but no, really, I am a delicate flower. Few things have made this more apparent to me than getting a Thai oil massage on the beach today. Ow. Now, I don’t think these things are supposed to actually hurt, but I was in worse shape when I got off the table than I was before I got on. It is therefore my conclusion that I was doing it wrong. Hence the whole delicate flower thing.



Geo and I walked down to Panwa Beach again today, past an array of fluffy adorable ducklings and chicks along the road, down by Cindy Pancake, all the way to Cindy Massage, and figured that since we’d been in Thailand for months now without ever getting a massage, we might as well try it out to see what all the hype is about.

Ducklings and Chicks. They lacked the attention span to pose for me but I think they were pretty photogenic anyway, what with all the fluffy adorableness they had going for them.

Thais give serious massages.

The ladies who gave us ours were very nice and the massages themselves were full-body (ahem, unexpectedly...) Thai oil massages that only cost about $10 each for an entire hour which is a fantastic deal, so I wish I could say I loved it, but while I didn’t hate it I wouldn’t do it again willingly. Maybe if the fate of the world depended on it...but probably not. My masseuse had remarkably strong hands for an elderly woman, with an uncanny ability to find vulnerable muscles and absolutely butcher them. Every time she’d dig her finger into my leg muscle I’d twitch in agony and she’d take this as an indication to do it more since I was ‘tense’ so by the end we were in a painful standoff and I was praying the hour would be up.

Cindy Beach Ad – Encompassing Cindy Pancake, Cindy Massage, and a little shop. Cindy has a good thing going on this beach.

Geo’s masseuse was gentler, but as Geo was covered in sand beforehand this made for an uncomfortable exfoliation experience less like a loofah scrub and more like an attack with a sandblaster. Thai massages are intense, is what I’m getting at. There’s the massage part, sure, but then there’s also this elaborate stretching exercise where they stand on you and try to force your body into positions bodies are not meant to hold, so if you’re going to get a Thai massage you’d do well to not be a delicate flower--just saying. I was a bruised mess by the end of it, so much so that after dazedly rewarding ourselves with delicious pancakes we took a taxi home. It was a confusing and less than pleasant experience. Nice ladies, though.

Even though the massage thing didn’t quite work out as planned, we did manage to be at Panwa Beach late enough to catch the beginnings of the sunset which has a certain life-choices affirming characteristic about it, don’t you think?

 

Pro Tip: Don’t get a massage when you are a) a delicate flower or b) covered in sand.

- LuckyStar